Incapable of being satisified.

Today I got my offer letter for my first permanent job since I resigned and went back to grad school for my Masters. I'm happy! I'm happy that my job search is over, for a while. The benefits are good, and they start on the 1st month after I start. Which in my case will be a week after I start. Yea!! It's closer to where I currently live, which will hopefully cut my gas consumption in half. Here's hoping and praying. But, and there's always a but right? Why does there have to be a but.... because I'm never satisfied.

Here's the but, I look at my salary and I'm not satisfied. Now my original offer was much lower than this current offer, and I turned it down because it really wasn't more than what I make at my contract job. They came back with a better offer, and I accepted. Because 1. I know I can live off that, and two it's a better job and closer. Salary wise, I expected to make a lot more with my master's. Alot. I'm not depressed about my salary, just not happy with it. I even caught myself trying to figure out my friends salary, and then I started counting their money. It was shameful and sad on my part. When I realized that, I immediately prayed for forgiveness and asked The Lord to allow me to be happy with what I will be making. I think I'm money hungry because I have plans and they will happen faster if I made more money.

Today though I thought I haven't always made the best decisions with money. I'm pretty good, and then I have my moments. I realized that God is not going to bless me with more money till I prove that I can actually do good with what I make now. I have to budget more, save more, and spend less. Lesson my frivolous spending, and start eating in more. I have a long way to go, but it's a commitment that I have, HAVE to make.

So what are you?

I've struggled trying to figure out what I want my blog to be. Do I want to write about my daily life encounters, more of a broader theme.... what? I've discovered a lot of new blogs recently that I LOVE. Then I think I want my blog to be like this... why can't I come up with something creative, fun, more importantly entertaining. I mean lets face it, I do want people to want to read my blog, and come back!

So I started thinking, "What do I like?" Reading, but there's enough blogs about books. Shopping, There's never enough blogs about shopping!! Clothes, shoes, shoes, and more shoes!! Watching tv, but not enough to recap, plus I watch a lot of tv. So if you want tv recaps, follow me twitter, I tweet while I watch. I love all things tech. And I LOVE social media!

As you can see I have a lot of interests, in reality those are just some of my favorite things. So while I'm still trying to figure out what I want my blog to be I hop you stick around for the ride.

Happy?

Sometimes I think Happiness is an illusion. Today in what should have been a very happy day turned to more self doubt, pessimism. Don't get me wrong, I am happy to have a job, one that pays, and one that I atleast know when it's going to end. But when I was sitting there going through the training I couldn't help but think "Is this my life?" Well yes it's my life. But it's not all I want my life to be.

I feel like my life has been stagnant for a long time. Even before I left for grad school I felt stuck. Part of it was me because I became complacent in my work and situation. So I went to grad school, completed my degree, and came home. When I graduated I felt like everyone, that I could take over the world. Until I got home and got stuck in what seemed like the never ending cycle of cover letters, applications, resumes, and rejection. Then the worst happened and I got complacent in joblessness. It sucked and I got depressed. Eventually I slowly began to crawl out of it, I found my motivation. Things turned around when I got a job offer, but I can't help but feeling like I'm going to be stuck in complacency again.

That's not what I want. That's not what I want out of life. It's not why I went to school. I've never been a glass half empty girl. I'm always the one motivating my friends, and anyone else who needs it. Why I can't seem to talk myself into that same motivation I don't know. I want to be happy.

Happy Days Ahead

Well I's got another job. Tomorrow I start a contract job working in back in broadcasting. I'm excited! I'm excited to be finally working again, to have a a purpose about my day, and to eventually be finally making money again. It's been a long depressing 7 mths since of looking for work, and finally I had something of substance. Not including my job at the blue box because that was 3 weeks. While I'm excited, I'm also smart. This job is contract, and my goal is to find a permanent and better paying job before this contract is up. So I'm still on the hunt but the things are looking up. FINALLY!

Why are you married?

I don't understand why people get married if they're not serious about the commitment they're making. If your still going to see other people, sleep with other people, basically act like your still single except be legally married, why get married? Do people just not care about the commitment they're making before God, or their person of higher being? I take marriage seriously, I take the vows that people make seriously. Now I'm not married but I hope to be one day, and I hope/pray that my husband feels the same way about marriage that I do. Actually scratch that, my husband will share the same ideas about marriage because I wouldn't marry him otherwise.

Don't get me wrong I know people marry out of convenience, for stability, because they need health insurance, hell even love. But if your not serious about spending your life with that person what's the point of getting married? Ok so your serious at that point in your time, things change and now you want a divorce. Ok I get that, kinda sorta. However that's not what I'm talking about. I want to know why people who have every intention of living the single lifestyle while married get married? Save yourself some trouble and just stay single. The world will thank you, and so will all the women/men you meet. No one in their right mind wants to be involved with a married person. Yes I now we live in the age of the jumpoff/sidepiece but I'm convinced these people are crazy, and are not in their right mind.

These married folks who walk around with this "I'm single mentality" makes you question the value of marriage today.

Not a Hobby

One of my ex roommates told me one time that if you do something 18 days in a row it becomes a hobby. Well judging by my last post date blogging has not become a hobby yet. Unfortunately today is not the start of my 18 days lol. Life has been pretty boring lately. My job and The Blue Box ended a week before schedule due to budget restraints. That royally sucked, but I know the girl who was scheduled to work all month had it worse. So I'm once again without a job, or any prospects. :( I keep being patient but the truth is it's hard to stay motivated. It's hard to stay motivated to keep searching and looking. I'm not giving up by any means bc the bills have to be paid one way or the other. I'm just uninterested in the rejection. Does that make sense?

I got boobs

So if you've ever met me in real life you may have noticed I "lack" in the upper chest area. Ok yea I have no boobs, and I've totally accepted that. I mean small boobs come in handy. I have room for other things in my bra, like keys/license/lip gloss/money. Or any other thing that should be put in a clutch for a night out. That is except my BB.
Well today all that changed. I finally bought me some boobs. And the best news of it only cost me $29.99. Yep and I'm not talking about those chicken cutlet type boobs either. Today I went to Victoria's Secret semi annual sale, as I usually wait till then to buy my bras for them because paying $60.00 for a bra is just not feasible. So today I picked up two miraculous bras. Boy does it live up to it's name. I mean the thing didn't feel natural at first when I put it on, but I for sure walked out that store with 2 of them. I would have bought more, but I didn't want to be greedy. Plus it's not practical for everyday use.
I can't wait to wash and wear them, and the other things I bought from there. I knew when I screamed in excitement this morning for the semi annual sale that it was going to be a great day. I didn't expect to leave the store with boobs.

PS. If your going to check out the semi annual sale, go to store. The online store has already sold out of alot of things.